Pride, Prejudice and Corpses
by Dantes Infernals
Summary: AU B&B meet fic - based on Pride and Prejudice -sort of! I've abused Miss Austin terribly in writing this but I just couldnt resist! Ok so there may be some shipping I dont think Miss Austin would mind! ;


**This was inspired by the wet shirt scene of xoc13****, all I could think about afterwards was Booth as a sort of Mr. Darcy character, with the squint squad as the Bennets. Lots of credits and love to a Miss Austin. **

**This is an AU B&B meet fic, and yes its a bit random, and I do take HUGE liberties with the facts of the canon storyline and of course abusing Jane Austin terribly. I will be using bits of P&P dialogue but I will be diverging from it a bit. Any huge P&P fans, will recognise snippets that are essentially book adlibs. **

**THE DISCLAIMER: I dont own Booth and Brennan, I just take them from the FOX toybox for a while and play with them before putting them back. No money is made from anything, it is purely for non-profit purposes covered under section 107-118 of title 17, U. S. Code and 1988 Copyright Designs and Patents Act (UK) and the case law of Hustler Magazine, Inc. et al. v. Jerry Falwell 1988. It is all used purely for parody and entertainment purposes. However should FOX want to give me Booth then Im sure we could come to sort of arrangement! **

**I dont imagine any smut will occur, ergo the rating but if there will be smut ill change the rating.  
**

* * *

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a FBI agent in possession of a superior gut instinct, must be in want of a squint, and upon arriving in a jurisdiction is considered the property of one or other investigative unit, until such time as the matter is settled.

'Did you hear?' Doctor Goodman said one morning upon entering the medico-legal lab. 'The position of head of the violent crimes unit* has been filled' he glanced at the assorted specialism's represented by the talented team on the forensics platform. None of those assembled looked at him, as he beamed expectantly at them. 'Well is no one curious?'

Cam looked up from the remains to meet the older mans eyes. 'You clearly want to tell us, Doctor Goodman' her tone slightly exasperated at his obvious enthusiasm. She was not entirely sure why the good doctor was so excited by the news. After all their team of squints had so little in the way of people skills that it was unlikely that any investigator would choose to work with their little motley crew. By and large they tended to lose that tenure to the equally well endowed C.A Pound labs in Florida – also the weather was better there, and Cam was sure that this would end in the same way.

'His name is special Agent Seeley Booth, from the Philidelphia field office' he beamed as though he had just won the lottery. The news was a non-plus to the squints, who were, to their credit, fully aware of their problems with the outside world. They knew their interpersonal skills, were lacking in many respects and they had only their skills to recommend them to any potential federal agent.

'Ohhhh, juicy, he even sounds delicious' Angela Montenegro chimed in, her sketch pad held against her chest where she had been making note of the tissue depths for the facial reconstruction she was working on. Goodman pursed his lips , disappointed that his news had had so little affect on the other of the squints.

'Is that all anyone has to say?' he demanded of them.

'What would you like us to say Doctor Goodman? We could all endeavour to react as Angela did if that would make you happy.' Cam retorted, a note of amusement shining in her voice.

'This could be a wonderful opportunity for the Jeffersonian' he said as though it were obvious. 'Already we lead the field in historic anthropology, if we could add that we were also involved in modern investigation our funding would triple.' He all but sang. Cam could not help the small scoff that hovered at the back of her throat at Goodman's hopeful prediction, 'I should call the FBI – let them know that their agency is welcome to prevail upon our expertise, or perhaps Doctor Saroyan you should do it, since you have worked for the state in your previous Coroners position.'

'Im not sure that would be appropriate Doctor Goodman'

'Why ever not, we must make sure that are quick off the mark on this one' he said and the look on Cam's face remained frozen in an expression of mild distaste, she was not a fan of prostituting her place of employment for the sake of funding. Goodman, taking her expression for a refusal, folded his arms across his chest, his tone waspish 'Then you have decided then, you really don't care if we are unable to maintain our reputation as a world class centre for anthropological study?' It wasn't really a question and he didn't wait for an answer, instead he turned on his heel and started towards the door to the medico-legal lab.

'He's coming here to meet me for lunch' she called to Goodman's back making the administrator stop and turn towards her once more. She felt almost a little bad for her exe-boyfriend, he was being shanghaied and he didn't even know it yet. 'Seeley and I go way back, I'll talk to him later' she said tiredly, not wanting to piss off the older man. Goodman beamed, clapped his hands together in a look of utter delight and scurried off in the direction of his head anthropologists office to break the good news.

* * *

It was under this cloud of conversation and discussion that Special Agent Seeley Booth arrived at the Jeffersonian building. No sooner had he entered that he was acutely aware of the hushed whispers and chattering that followed him along the corridor, it seemed that every dusty academic or be speckled squint had come out to gawk at him as he strode towards Cam's office. Sully had tagged along for the trip, having met Cam while she and Booth had been dating and keen to renew the acquaintance.

Booth had been in DC, installed in his new position for less than a month and already almost every academic institution had trotted out their best and brightest in a hopes of enticing the FBI agent to choose their institution for the forensics tender for this unit. It was a big contract, worth a lot in terms of finances and prestige, and each group had had their advantegous, good on the stand, good with the science, but never the complete package and he had resolved to use the FBI in house forensics team until such time that he found a squint 'good enough' to work with him. He expected this to be no different, he liked Cam as a person, and while he knew she was good at her job, she was a coroner and as such not entirely qualified to work on the sort of cases he tended to be assigned. His job involved those cases which were considered poison by other units, the unsolvable cases with no ID's, no fresh scene, where a body was decomposed, often beyond recognition- no he needed some particular skills, none of which his old friend possessed.

'Seeley' a familiar voice called to him and he turned smiling as the figure of Cam Saroyan made its way towards him, and scattering the crowd of squints like rats up a drainpipe.

'Hey Cam,' he greeted warmly, 'its great to see you again.' He embraced her warmly, they might have been exes but they were on good terms, since their relationship had ended with a fizzle rather than a bang, both agreeing that neither loved the other. 'You ready to grab some lunch?' She nodded.

'I just need to grab my purse, its just in my office, come on back.' He followed her towards the glass fronted room that served as her personnal space within the Jeffersonian. He had to admit the medico-legal lab was not what he had expected, it was bright and airy, everything shone like a hospital rather than a morgue, like it was meant to preserve life rather than remains.

'Cam I wondered if you could…' a new voice interjected and both turned to face the newcomer. 'Oh I am sorry, you are heading out, I can get you later' Doctor Temperance Brennan said, not really looking all that sorry. Cam shook her head.

'Not all Brennan, what do you need?'

'I need you to sign off on this report, it's the sokushinbutsu mummy from the Yamagata site.' She explained, and it must have meant something to Cam as the other woman nodded. 'We can confirm that body fat at time of death was less than 1.6%, he had been very physical active in the run up to his death, no bone trauma except for a break that occurred in his late teens early twenties with signs of extensive remodelling, his age at death was approximately 45-50. Tox indicates there was arsenic in his system, as well as the excepted concentration of urushi sap poison.' She said quickly, without taking her eyes off Cam. One of Booth's slender eyebrows raised as he took in the other woman and he glanced seruptitiously to Sully. Brennan who had not missed the look stuck out her hand in greeting to shake theirs. 'I am Doctor Temperance Brennan' she offered by way of introduction. Both men seemed a little shocked at her sudden change in tact but shook her hand anyway, not really sure what to say.

'Oh Doctor Brennan this is Agent Sully and Agent Booth, from the FBI' Cam said, handing back the report to the anthropologist, 'Doctor Brennan is one of the best forensic athrnopologists in the world' she said to the two FBI men, who nodded.

'In the world actually,' Brennan corrected, 'There are only 3 in North America, so being the best here isn't that much of an accolade.' Booth let out a scoffing laugh, and Sully did his best to look suitably impressed, neither of which she noticed, instead having retrieved her report she turned on her heel and headed back to her office. They watched her retreating back, a myriad of expressions playing over their features, from amusement to slight annoyance.

'So shall we go then' Cam said, shaking the two men from their thoughts, they both nodded and headed for the exit.

* * *

Brennan came here every day for a coffee, shortly after 1pm, it was _her_ place, she had _her_ table, and _her_ usual, here she could get away from the lab and think, or scribble notes for her next book on napkins or the notepad she sometimes kept in her purse. Her usual seat was tucked next to a window, her back to a colomn, that kept her well enough hidden from view. She had been sipping at her coffee and thinking about the mummified remains that waited for her in the lab when familier voices drew her attention. 'Coffee Booth?' – it was agent Sully. They were sitting at the table on the otherside of the column, unable to see her, but she could hear every word. Booth must had given the affirmative in a gesture because without another word being spoken Sully ordered black coffees from the red headed waitress Doris.

'What do you think of them then?' Sully pressed as the two sat huddled in their table, having been joined by another agent, a pretty blond woman, by the name of Perotta.

'Nice enough but I don't think they are the right fit.' He said with a shrug into his coffee.

'Not right? Booth they are the best anthropological facility in the US. That anthropologist lady, she is the one that wrote those books, the murder ones, she's famous! What more can you ask for?' Brennan felt herself glow a little at Sully's words, she was proud of her achievements, after all she had worked damn hard for them.

'Yeah, she's smart, but she seems weird, like really socially dysfunctional, like a robot, I don't think I could put up with all her squint talk all day long.' Booth answered honestly. Brennan felt her cheeks flame at his words and the bottom fall out of her stomach. She could have forgiven his vanity, had he not so readily offended hers. She threw a few bills onto the table and without a word swept out of the diner, the bell above the door jangling in her wake.

Booth's eyes found her slim form as she swept past the window on the outside, and a cold finger of dread wrapped itself around his stomach, had she heard him?

* * *

***I am not sure if that's Booth's job, but like I said I'm taking liberties! **

**Let me know if I should continue or put us all out of misery and just stop now!  
**


End file.
